Practical advice and personal wisdom from a four-time cancer survivor.

I want a job (dreams of a now disabled woman)

by Julie Negrin

I want a job. I want to wake up, complain about waking up, turn off my alarm because it’s too early, and get dressed for a job. I want to put on my black work pants and a shirt appropriate for work. I want to stuff my breakfast down without thinking. Get in the car, already exhausted from imagining the day ahead, turn on the radio and sip my homemade coconut chai drink while navigating traffic. Traffic! I want to complain about traffic, my commute, how bad it is in…

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Why writing a book terrifies me

by Julie Negrin

HONEST CONFESSION: I blame my cookbook for my health. So many people have suggested that I write a book. And I’m not sure if anyone notices but I often shy away from the idea. There is a reason why. It’s a long story but essentially I pitched my kids cookbook to publishers a tad too early – 2006 or thereabouts – before the kids cooking thing became “trendy.” I decided to self-publish. I used up my entire nest egg. It took me several years. I ended up going through a…

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How I Resist while Disabled

by Julie Negrin

How do we stay calm in the midst of a crisis? How do we set aside emotions that blur our thinking? How do we stay hopeful when our world is collapsing around us? Like people trapped in a car that’s gone over a bridge, the water level is rising. Some people are in denial. Others are fruitlessly banging on window that will never budge. I don’t want to act. I want someone to save me. Or, I want to let myself sink to the bottom and let go. But. I do…

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10 Ways to Resist, Advocate & Support

by Julie Negrin

A lot of people are scared and unsure how to help. So I made a list of ideas. I’ve learned through my medical hell that it feels better to channel panic into action! Step 1: We can’t do everything. Pick one or two issues you’re passionate about and start reading everything you can and following experts tweeting/writing about it. News moves fast, Twitter is quickest. I also constantly Google “ACA repeal” to stay up to date. Step 2: Find local and national organizations that are working on your two issues….

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Am I strong enough?

by Julie Negrin

Am I strong enough to carry other when I can barely carry myself? Am I strong enough to stand up for love even though it will make me a recipient of hate? Am I strong enough to fight when I can barely eat? Am I strong enough? I don’t know. I don’t know if I can do this. If I can find the energy to strategize, organize, and resist. I don’t know if I SHOULD use my precious energy to fight the demons in the world when I have to…

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I felt itchy all day

by Julie Negrin

I feel itchy and weird today. Like I took some medicine that’s causing my skin to itch from within the layers of epidermis where I can’t reach. I’ve felt this way at other times but none are as clear as the night of Sept 10, 2001.  I had just moved to New York City a few months earlier. I had a cooking gig at a retreat that summer but was looking for work again.   My studio apartment had a “nook” for my bed. That meant I had a cheap…

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I can’t stop the words

by Julie Negrin

Words are like puppies and toddlers. The more you chase them, the further they run. I’ve finally learned to stop. And walk the other way. Until they starting chasing me. The writing voice I couldn’t find for so many years finally showed up when I stopped looking for it. Only when I was drugged and in so much pain, could it finally find it’s way through the complicated neurons synapsing in my brain. The drugs and pain creating a tunnel like the parting of the Red Sea. Creating a pathway…

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I don’t want to hide anymore

by Julie Negrin

I’ve been thinking about how everyone keeps calling me brave. Because my view of myself from the inside is often a bumbling, neurotic, insecure woman. There. It’s out there now. I’m actually a very insecure, nervous nelly! I overthink everything. I dissect what I say. What I do. What I wear. How I speak. All of it. I think one of the reasons I loved living in New York is that I blended in so easily with all the other neurotics.  Maybe this isn’t as big of surprise to you…

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Dear Electors, I beg you

by Julie Negrin

Dear Electors, My name is Julie Negrin. I used to be a kids cooking teacher and a nutritionist with a thriving career. Now, I am a disabled woman who has battled four unrelated cancers. In the last three years, I’ve lost four organs, my business, my independence, and the ability to digest solid food. But I have not lost my voice. And I plead with you now. Please, please vote for our country on Dec 19. This isn’t about party anymore – nor policy. This is about whether or not…

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I am a disabled American – and I’m scared

by Julie Negrin

I didn’t want to write this post. I really didn’t. I’m old-school and believe voting is personal business. But I’m petrified this year. This election, my fate hangs in the balance. This time, I’m fragile, vulnerable and dependent on the government for the first time in my life. I’ve had 4 unrelated cancers by age 42 and many, many complications that prevent me from working. I have a genetic disorder called Lynch Syndrome that makes me at risk for EIGHT more cancers. This is the hardest sentence I’ve ever had to…

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  • Hi, my name is Julie Negrin. I’m a nutritionist that’s battled 4 cancers: melanoma, ovarian, colon, and endometrial cancer — the last 3 all at once — due to a genetic disorder called Lynch Syndrome. In the three years since I lost four organs, I've been slowly transforming to "disabled" after living a mostly able-bodied life. I've also had a bunch of other complications including not being able to eat solid foods.... Stick around if you're not afraid of the ugly bits. Much love,

    Much love,

    Julie Negrin

    About Julie & Cancer Teacher

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